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The Wanders/Transcript
(Open as always on a planet. Zoom in to Sylvia running and screaming. Wide shot to reveal she is chasing a squirrel around a tree.) Sylvia: This...is...nuts! Wander: (dangling from a branch) Oh, good idea! Squirrels love nuts! (to the squirrels in the tree hole) Excuse me, ma'am, but would you happen to have any peanuts that my companion and I might use to entice your frightened little one home and back into the warm embrace of his lovin' family? (Wander wraps his arms around himself and falls from the branch onto Sylvia.) Wander: Oh, there he goes! (Cut to reveal a rather dangerous looking cave, which the squirrel scurries into. Thunder and lightning strike and scary music is heard.) Wander: I'll save you! Sylvia: Wander, no! I don't like the looks of that cave! Wander: I know, but if something horrrrible happens to that little guy, I'd never forgive myself. Sylvia: But what if something horrible happens to you? Wander? No. No. NO!! Wander: Sorry, I love you! (laughs and runs into the cave) Sylvia: (sighs) Love you, too, buddy, but why is there this part of you that always has to do the wrong things for the right reasons? (Wander is heard screaming offscreen.) Sylvia: WANDER!!! (she runs into the cave but stops short) Wander: (offscreen) This is amazing! Sylvia: Oh, thank grop he's okay! I'm gonna throttle him! (Sylvia walks ahead. When she disappears from the shot, the squirrel runs down the hill.) (Cut to inside the cave. Wander is amazed by the insides, which is surrounded by lots of reflective prisms. As he passes each one, it appears as if some reflections move of their own free will.) Wander: Whoa! It's bee-yoo-tiful! Well, I'll be! It's multiple me's! (Tipping his hat to his reflection.) Howdy-do to you! I mean me! (Wander's reflection tips his hat to Wander and then disappears, only to reappear behind Wander.) That...is...awesome! Wander Duplicate: I know, right?! (Wander suddenly notices each of the reflections on the prisms disappearing one by one.) (Flash white to Sylvia approaching the cave's entrance. She approaches what appears to be Wander.) Sylvia: What have I asked you about runnin' off like that? Promise you will never do that— (Sylvia lifts the head of "Wander" only to reveal he is making a rather sinister face. This version of Wander runs away and laughs.) Sylvia: Hey, what did I just say?! (Suddenly, a whole army of Wanders tramples all over Sylvia. Title card. When Sylvia comes to, she notices a whole bunch of Wanders running around displaying different traits.) Wander Duplicate 2: Never hurts to help! Wander Duplicate 3: Let's go! Wander Duplicate 4: Yeah! Wander Duplicate 5: This is great! Sylvia: What is going on?! Sleepy Wander: (yawning and walking out of the cave) Hey, keep it down out here. I'm tryin' to slee—Zzzzzzzz... (walks back into the cave) (Cut to inside the cave. Sylvia charges inside and looks around.) Sylvia: Wander! (Cut to reveal a blank-stared original Wander standing on the spot we saw him standing on earlier. Sylvia trips on a rock and sees him.) Sylvia: Wander? Wander! (Sleepy Wander trips on Sylvia and jumps onto the original Wander's spot and disappears only to reappear on a prism.) Sylvia: What is going on?! Nerdy Wander: The indigenous crystals have fractured the varying facets of my persona and liberated them, sending them traipsing over the countryside, hither and yon. Time is of the essence. If the personality fragments are not reunited expeditiously, the original specimen will disappear. Overly-Dramatic Wander: FOR-EV-ER!!! (pretends to die) Sylvia: Okay, wait, so if he's him, and he is him and you're him, then that means that they are also him but if I don't get him and you and him back into him then he won't be him anymore?! Nerdy Wander: In an inarticulate garbled manner of speaking...yes. Sylvia: Thanks. That's all I'' needed. ''(She grabs Nerdy Wander and places him over Wander Alpha and he reappears in the prism.) Sylvia: Not so smart now, are ya? (Nerdy Wander claps sarcastically. Sylvia then grabs Overly-Dramatic Wander.) Overly-Dramatic Wander: Noooo! Is this the end of Overly-Dramatic Wander? (Overly-Dramatic Wander disappears and reappears in the prism.) Overly-Dramatic Wander: And scene. Sylvia: Yes! You're gonna be okay, pal! Just gotta get the rest of you's back into you. (sees a Wander) Hey, pal! C'mere! (The Wander Sylvia is talking to keeps backing away.) No. No. No! (Cut to outside. The Wander Sylvia was chasing runs away laughing.) Sylvia: Oh, I get it. You're the one that always runs off and does stuff even though I tell you not to! Well, fine! Go! It's your fault we're in this mess in the first place! Wander's better off without you! (snorts) (Sylvia takes a gander at all the different Wanders.) Sylvia: (Sighs) That's a lot of Wanders. OCD Wander: (plucking the hairs off his head) Four hundred twenty to be precise. There's Angry Wander... Angry Wander: Flabdrassit! OCD Wander: Burping Wander... Burping Wander: (Belches) OCD Wander: Curious Wander... Curious Wander: Hey, what's that?! OCD Wander: Distracted Wander... (Sylvia bumps into Distracted Wander.) OCD Wander: Easily-Impressed Wander... Easily-Impressed Wander: That's amazing! OCD Wander: Zen Wander... Zen Wander: They who act in haste, effort will they waste. OCD Wander: The Dancing Wanders... Banjo-Playing Wander: Oh, plinkin', plunkin' That's what I do I pluck my banjo And I sing you a tune I sing so sweetly And it goes like this Ba-dip ba-dip bip bip bi-dip ba-dip ba-dip ba-dip bit OCD Wander: Treehugger Wander... Treehugger Wander: Man, scope out that view. Easily-Impressed Wander: That's amazing! OCD Wander: Hero Wander... Hero Wander: I'll save you! OCD Wander: Blonde Wig Wander... Blonde Wig Wander: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Hero Wander: I'll save you! Easily-Impressed Wander: That's amazing! Crazy Wander: (laughs while doing cartwheels) (All the Wanders galavant around Sylvia whose eyes dart all around. Zoom out of the planet.) Sylvia: I CAN'T DO THIS!!! (Zoom back in.) Clingy Wander: I love you. (Sylvia turns around to reveal Clingy Wander clinging to her tail.) I love you, I love you, I love you. Optimistic Wander: Don't be all down in the dumps. It's always sunny somewhere, Sylvie, ol' girl. Cheerleader Wander: Sylvia! Sylvia! She's our man! If she can't do it, no one can! Sylvia: Yeah? Maybe you're right. (Sylvia gets an idea. She grabs Cheerleader Wander and Optimistic Wander.) Easily-Impressed Wander: That's ama— (Before he can finish his sentence, Sylvia grabs Easily-Impressed Wander as well and runs back to the cave to throw them in. Sylvia tries to get Clingy Wander off her tail, but to no avail.) Sylvia: (groans) Okay, let's catch some Wanders using their traits as bait. Clingy Wander: That rhymed! I love you! (Cut to Messy Wander swimming in a mud puddle.) Sylvia: Oh, no! You're a mess! OCD Wander: (with a bucket) Mess, mess. Did someone say mess? (Cleaning Messy Wander vigorously.) Clean it up! Clean it up now! (Sylvia grabs both Messy Wander and OCD Wander.) Sylvia: Obsessy via Messy? Check and check! Clingy Wander: That also rhymed! I love you! OCD Wander: Five down, 415 to go! Sylvia: Tea time! Time for girls to try on shoes and talk about lady things! (Blonde Wig Wander wiggles his way over to Sylvia.) Sylvia: Two helpless females all alone! I hope no bad guys are nearby! Wild Wooly Wander: Raaaaar!!! (Wild Wooly Wander ties Blonde Wig Wander onto some railroad tracks.) Blonde Wig Wander: Help! Help! Save me! Hero Wander: I'll sa— Sylvia: (covering Hero Wander's mouth) Save it. I'm the hero now. Treehugger Wander: (sniffing) Smell that righteous grub. (Sylvia grabs Treehugger Wander and throws all of them in the cave.) Clingy Wander: You're doing great! I love you! Sylvia: Gosh, oh, golly! Those Wanders over there sure look sad. (Clingy Wander finally lets go of Sylvia's tail and gives the Sad Wanders a hug.) Clingy Wander: I love you all! (Sylvia grabs the Wanders and rolls them towards the rest of the Wanders turning them into a Wander bowling ball. Soon, most of the Wanders reappear on the prisms.) Sylvia: And heeeeeeeeeere's Wander! Wander? Come on, buddy, please? What's wrong? I put them all back in. What did I forget? (A laugh from the Troublemaker Wander answers her question.) Sylvia: No, no, not him! He's the one that always gets us into trouble, and he won't listen to me anyway! Zen Wander: If you don't accept all of us, you accept none of us. Treehugger Wander: Whooooaa, that's deep, dude. Sylvia: He's just gonna— Causing trouble! And I don't wanna— (All the other Wanders give Sylvia a look. Sylvia sighs.) Flabdrassin' Wanders. Make me do the right things for the wrong reasons. Troublemaker Wander: (laughs) Sylvia: Hmm. This one always does whatever I tell him not to. Ding! (Cut to reveal a bunch of signs saying, "No!" all pointing to the cave. Troublemaker Wander makes his way to Wander Alpha, only to be grabbed by Sylvia.) Sylvia: Gotcha! Troublemaker Wander: (struggles) Sylvia: Are we sure about this? 'Cause my life is pretty crazy with this one in it. (sighs, to Wander Alpha) But it'll be so much worse without you. (Sylvia throws Troublemaker Wander into Wander Alpha who springs back to life.) Wander Alpha: YEEEEEEEE-HAW!! Sylvia: Wander? Are...are you okay? Wander Alpha: I'm more than okay, I'm perfect! Now come, trusty steed, it's time to stop that heartless evildoer Lord Hater once and for all! Hyah! Sylvia: Wait, what? Stop? Wander Alpha: Yes! I am a good guy and he is a bad guy and I stop him! Sylvia: No no no no. The Wander I'' know wants to ''befriend Hater, not stop him. Wait. Why are all these other Wanders still up there? Something's not right. (Zen Wander points downward to an empty prism.) Sylvia: Wander, that crystal has no reflection. We're still missing some part of you. Wander Alpha: That's okay. I'm a lot better off without it! Let's go go go! Sylvia: No. I've learned my lesson. Every part of you is important. (Sylvia puts Wander Alpha back on the rock and discovers a rather Helpless Wander behind some crystals, who stares at her worryingly.) Zen Wander: The helper seeks to help others because he knows what it is to be helpless. Sylvia: Hey, little guy. It's okay, I won't hurt you. Come on. (Sylvia takes Helpless Wander in her arms.) Helpless Wander: Home... (Sylvia puts Helpless Wander back into Wander Alpha causing all the reflections to disappear and getting Wander back to normal as he sheds a tear.) Wander: Thanks, Syl. That was the most important part. (Crossfade to later that night. Wander helps Sylvia block the cave with a giant rock.) Wander: Whew! I wouldn't want someone else to go through what I'' went through. '''Sylvia': Love that part of you, buddy. (They ride off in an orbble.) Category:Transcripts